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Q:Special:Search/Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield (November 22, 1921 – October 5, 2004), born Jacob Cohen, was an American comedian and actor. Sourced * I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasn't met me yet. ** Quoted in Bob Fenster, Laugh Off: The Comedy Showdown Between Real Life and the Pros (2005), p. 37 * There goes the neighborhood. ** Epitaph, quoted in Patricia Brooks, Laid to Rest in California (2006), p. 20 ''It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs'' (2004) * I was an ugly kid. When I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself. ** p. 4 * In my life I've been through plenty. when I was three years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me. ** p. 6 * What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away. ** p. 7 * I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to keep out of those places. ** p. 8 * When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment. ** p. 9 * When I was a kid I got no respect. When my parents got divorced there was a custody fight over me... and no one showed up. ** p. 10 * I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again. ** p. 12 * My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks. ** p. 13 * I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped. ** p. 14 * A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, "Man, I wish I had your willpower." ** p. 15 * I tell ya, I grew up in a tough neighborhood. The other night a guy pulled a knife on me. I could see it wasn't a real professional job. There was butter on it. ** p. 16 * I was an ugly kid. I worked in a pet store. People kept asking how big I get. ** p. 17 * I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them. ** p. 18 * What a childhood I had. My mother never breast-fed me. She said she liked me as a friend. ** p. 19 * I tell ya, my family were always big drinkers. When I was a kid, I was missing. They put my picture on a bottle of Scotch. ** p. 21 * I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex. Last night, she called me from a motel. ** p. 59 * When I got back into show business in 1961, I felt — for obvious reasons — that nothing in my life went right, and I realized that millions of people felt the same way. So when I first came back my catch phrase was "nothing goes right." Early on, that was my setup for a lot of jokes. ** p. 126. * I don't get no respect! ** p. 127 Misattributed Because Dangerfield's signature style is to be self-demeaning, many jokes of this type by other comedians are wrongly attributed to Dangerfield. * I was so ugly... When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother! ** Actually originated with Henny Youngman. External links * The Official Rodney Dangerfield Site. * Interview with Sam Esmail on esmail.com. * Rodney Dangerfield at IMDb. * Interview with Rolling Stone Magazine Category:American actors Category:Comedians Category:Atheists Category:2000s deaths Category:People from New York Category:Stand-up comedians